The Gems Newton Cup - June 19 -21, 2009
Headlines & Features
2009 Gems Newton Cup Preview
The 2009 Gems Newton Cup is upon us. The competition will begin on June 19 and will end two days later. Radium Resort in Radium Hot Springs, British Columbia will once again host the tournament this year.
Team Gems & Team Newton have dominated the competition recently, winning four of the past five tournaments outright. Club Z & TNT have been criticized for a lack of intensity and have even seemed to display complete apathy at times. The last time any serious emotion was shown by a one of these guys was in 2006 when Cam Urquhart tossed his putter 45 feet into a pine tree on 18.
The 2009 TNT squad is led by Captain Loren Brown and is composed of the following players: Jamie Newton, Andy Prior, Rick Behl, Eric Leveille and Matt Armour. The team is an interesting mixture of youth & experience, and have added a second French Canadian in Eric Leveille to the team. Captain Brown has made no quips about round one, and has been vocal in saying the “French Connection” in Leveille & Newton will be paired, with FCUK clothing in tow. The obvious missing person is Rich Fontaine, who couldn’t time his sexual urges properly and has a baby due in early July. It is hoped that his absence might in some way result in the TNT players taking on more of an underdog mentality, which could lead to that missing intensity referenced above.
The captain of Club Z is Bob Fitzmartyn and it is composed of the following golfers: Tony Pozdin, Ray Kureluk, Colin Tough, Shawn Eltom & Tyler McRae. Club Z has been criticized for stellar play in the early rounds, but for absolute choke jobs when it counts. Colin Tough has been added back into the mix in 2009, replacing Cody Kwong, who was criticized in 2008 for referring to Tyler McRae as a “Richard Simmons wannabe” on several occasions. The critique of McRae was largely dismissed by fellow Club Z members, as it was a factor to motivating McRae in having his best year at the Gems Newton Cup, finishing with a record of 4-1. McRae also dismissed the critique, saying “I am a lover of rhinestones and Barbara Streisand, and I’m a sensitive person who is supportive of obese people and ugly people.”
2007 Champions, Team Newton, are captained by Paul Newton and are composed of the following players: Ian Buckingham, Gerry Imbery, Kevin Gillies, Bill Ivany, and returning veteran Roly Luiten. Luiten last attended the Gems Newton Cup in 2001, and has been taking a long sabbatical every since; choosing to focus his yearly golf exploits in Palm Desert in the middle of August. “You can’t beat the price during the low season down there. I don’t mind teeing off at 4:00 am to avoid the heat. By the time I’m done at 7:30am it’s hardly 100 degrees yet.”
Team Newton is coming off a successful, but disappointing outing in 2008. The squad failed to repeat last year, when Kevin Gillies 5-putted in a playoff to lose to Ian MacDonald. Gillies has been shifting some serious iron all winter to ensure that it doesn’t take him 3 attempts to crest the severe slope on the first green if he finds himself in a similar situation in 2009.
Team Gems comes into the 2009 tournament as defending champions, but are missing a critical component to their previous success. Larry Gems will be sidelined this year as he recovers from foot surgery. Returning to take his place as Captain is Dave Lockhart. Team Gems is composed of the following players: Nick Gems, Steve Furze, Don Manery, Kevin Miller & 2009 MVP Ian MacDonald. Nobody can seem to figure out how these guys are successful at this tournament. The Gems squad “sat in the weeds” for much of the 2008 event, and turned it on during the latter stages to put themselves into contention. The critics wonder if they can sustain themselves for another year and get themselves into a position to win again on Sunday. With Steve Furze recently turning 50, Dave Lockhart sustaining a shoulder injury falling off a truck, Don Manery practically having to be carried off the course a couple of years ago on Sunday, and Kevin Miller taking an errant golf shot in the hand in 2007, many are questioning if it has simply been pure luck and sandbagging that has allowed these guys to win this tournament 3 out of the last 5 years.
The format in 2009 will be adjusted slightly, allowing for every team to have a chance to win on Sunday, as the winning team will be determined based on an accumulation of points over the whole weekend. The change in format has been critiqued by some senior players, claiming that it’s just a way for the young guys to try and switch things up so TNT has a chance to win this thing. They are probably right, but they probably haven’t figured out yet how the old format works anyway, so who gives a shit?
See you in a few weeks, fellas.
The 2009 Gems Newton Cup®