THE GEMS NEWTON CUP 2007
JUNE 22 - 24, 2006
THE RADIUM RESORT, RADIUM, BRITISH COLUMBIA
Team Gems 2007 Preview - By Captain Dave Lockhart
Although Team Gems, reigning champions and winners of 2 of the last 3 GNC’s, is in a rebuilding year, there is optimism that we have the pieces in place to make another run at the cup. Lost from the team that demolished the field in 2006 are Jim Trehas and Gerry Imbery. Although Jim’s burning desire to win will be sorely missed, it’s Gerry who the team will miss the most. Gerry is a fierce competitor, who provided exceptional leadership and brought ‘game’ as witnessed by winning the 2006 MVP, but more importantly, Gerry was the one that woke us up in the morning. Shit, now what are we gonna do. Added to this year’s edition of the team are Nick Gems, already a card-carrying member of the team (and we don’t give out cards to just anyone) and GNC virgin Larry Watmough.
Larry Watmough – Not much is known about Larry other than he works for Nestlé’s which alone means he has enough time on his hands to play 300 rounds a year. Rumor has it that Larry likes to have the ‘odd’ beer while playing golf which makes him a perfect fit for Team Gems as we’ll help him out with the ‘even’ ones.
Nick Gems – Nick, who hasn’t picked up a club since his victory in the last round of the 2005 GNC vows to pick up where he left off. “I think I still have an unfinished 40 of rye in the condo.” Nick amazes his opponents by being able to strike the ball without ever looking at it. Asked how he ever developed such a unique golf swing Nick replied “I developed it while dating my first girl friend. She wasn’t that good looking’, but I did her anyway while not looking at her.”
Don Manery – perennial, albeit unofficial, team MVP for his ability to cook the finest of ‘midnight’ wings when the rest of us can’t even find the barbeque. A fierce competitor when sober, Don has a tendency to lose that edge after a dozen or so beer. Lockhart’s challenge this year is to stop Don from having a dozen before we tee off in the morning.
Don’s favorite GNC moment – Nick doing the Kokanee shuffle on the deck….and then thru the deck…and finally down the hill behind the deck.
Kevin Miller – The man’s got game as he has the best win ratio of all active players. His legend grows with each passing year as opponents are beginning to turtle at key points of a match – Zeck curling up into the fetal position on the 18th green in the final round of 2006 comes to mind. However, as important as he is to the team on the course, Kevin’s real value is that he’s the man in charge of our entertainment. Although bearing witness to the many Millerisms during and after golf is entertaining enough, Kev always brings along something extra to ensure the team is loose and focused on having some giggles. In 2006, he brought the game of bocce and as a bonus, he brought Jim Trehas and his pet goat. Although we’re a little sad not to have Jim available to the team this year, we’re happy to report that Trehas and his pet goat are now the opening act at the local strip club.
Side Note – this is an open invitation to all the other teams to join us in a bocce tourney to be held either Friday or Saturday after golf.
Steve Furze – although not a real long ball hitter, Steve is always down the middle which is how we assumed he got the nickname of ‘short-pipe’. However, rumor has it that this is a nickname his wife gave him. A regular on tour since 2003, Stevie sports an incredible 67% win ratio. Asked about how happy he was with his performance thru the first three years of competition, Stevie replied “Whatever. True happiness is having a golf bag that holds enough beer for 13 holes and knowing there’s a re-fill station up the hill from the 14th tee box.”
Favorite GNC moment – winning a huge pot in Texas hold-em , while speaking Cantonese with Kevin Miller.
Dave Lockhart – roped into team captain for being the only one on the team who has a computer in order to pen these friggin’ player profiles. Asked to comment on his loathsome 50% win ratio, worse win ratio by any team captain in GNC history, Lockhart replied “It’s got me buffaloed. This course sets up perfectly for me. There’s a pisser on every hole. Truth be known, I never got over the rumor in 2004 that I got traded to a team with 4 Newton’s on it.”Favorite GNC moment – Sitting on the deck at midnight having wings and beer, and having Urquhart poke his head over the deck and ask “you guys seen my clubs”. Too funny. Andy P’s rendition of BC/DC’s “Money Talks” on the first tee, prior to the start of Sunday’s round in 2004 is a close second.