JUNE 21 - 24, 2007



Pictures Scoring Teams Course History

Event Info


April 11, 2007

 For Immediate Release:

Team Newton Two?

 Newton Jr. defects

The circus on all sides of Team Newton continued early on Wednesday morning. 

In a bizarre twist, Team Captain Jamie Newton has left Team Newton to unite with TNT, citing “irreconcilable differences” with some of his Newton teammates.

Entering his 7th Gems Newton Cup, Newton has qualified for unrestricted free agency, and decided to exercise his rights this past Tuesday, after an in depth dialogue with TNT Captain Loren Brown.

The “irreconcilable differences” seemed to emerge earlier this week when Gerry Imbery was acquired for Ray Kureluk.

According to Newton, some of Imbery’s demands were just too taxing on him, leading him to this colossal resolution.

“I settled on a few undisclosed details with Gerry once we finalized the trade, but his list of demands just kept growing and became just too unreasonable.  I realized that bringing Gerry over may not have been as good of an idea as I had initially thought.”

Prior to Newton’s exit, he apparently tried to re-acquire Ray Kureluk for an undisclosed player.  The only certainty around the undisclosed player was that it was not Gerry Imbery.  It is unknown whether his inability to re-acquire Kureluk was a factor in his departure, but it may have had some influence.

Newly assigned Team Gems team Captain Dave Lockhart, had the following to say about the trade that never happened.

“Team Gems had our monthly social event early last week at the Miller Hot-tub Emporium complete with the Coors-Lite caddy babes. The main purpose of this year’s event was to get to know the newest member of our team, Ray Kureluk. Ray is extremely excited about the prospect of playing for Team Gems in 2007.  Trading him back to Team Newton was not an option.”

 Kureluk was contacted to comment on all of the activity he has been a part of over the last ten days, and he did not mix words about his former Captain, Jamie Newton.

“He’s a young punk…a delinquent.  He’ll fit right in with the rest of those TNT misfits.”

Paul Newton was contacted about the news while vacationing in Augusta Georgia, where he was taking in this year’s edition on the Masters.  Newton was consequentially re-assigned the Team Newton Captaincy, as he had been serving as the alternate Captain since 2006.

What was meant to be a weekend of rest and relaxation had seemingly turned into a recruitment drive, as Newton has been tasked in finding a replacement for Jamie.

Newton was quick to name a substitute player as he has picked up free agent Larry Watmough to join his Team.

Watmough will make his GNC debut in 2007.  He is a consummate competitor and a rugged player who thrives for the excitement of competitive golf.  Watmough, 53, is a brother to the official First Tee Starter of the Gems Newton Cup matches, Mel Watmough.

Due to all of the disruption over the last ten days, Watmough and Kureluk swiftly signed no trade clauses with their respective teams for the balance of 2007, to ensure they are staying put.

The impact of Newton’s defection will be unknown until tournament weekend.  The only certainty with Team Newton at this point is that with the recent acquisitions and the departure of Jamie, Team Newton’s mean age has ballooned to 61 years.

 The addition of Newton to TNT drew mixed reactions from the current squad.  Not surprisingly a few of the players flat out said they “don’t really give a shit.”

“The laissez faire attitude…I knew what I was coming into when I signed with these guys,” said Newton.

“Perhaps I can energize these guys.  They’ve been bottom dwellers for the last three years.  They’ve resorted to classifying themselves as the official drunks of the tournament, and quite honestly I think they’ve done that out of embarrassment due to their results.  Prior, Armour, Behl, Brown, Fontaine…these are truly some of the most competitive guys I know.  They don’t take pride in losing.  Maybe I can teach them to be winners.”

“I feel good about our chances…hopefully I can bring these guys together.”

Captain Loren Brown was asked if he would rescind the captaincy to Jamie once he arrived.

“Flat out…No.  His track record as a player is formidable, but his track record as a Captain is appalling.  Look at how he managed Team Newton over the past week…when it comes to being a Captain he’s a real f*ck up.  This is my ship, and I’m going to keep steering it.”

After the hectic action this week, and due to the fact that the trading deadline has just passed, it may be safe to say that things will probably remain fairly quiet until tournament weekend.  As it stands, the Teams are assembled as follows:


Team Gems – 2006 Champions

Captain: Dave Lockhart

Steve Furze

Nick Gems

Ray Kureluk

Don Manery

Kevin Miller


Club Z

Captain: Trevor Zeck

Shawn Eltom

Bob Fitzmartyn

Brian McGregor

Tony Pozdin

Colin Tough


Team Newton

Captain: Paul Newton

Ian Buckingham

Kevin Gilles

Gerry Imbery – 2006 Most Valuable Player

Grahame Lyons

Larry Watmough



Captain: Loren Brown

Matthew Armour

Rick Behl

Rich Fontaine

Jamie Newton

Andrew Prior